Saturday, February 28, 2009

Jobs and other enigmas

I haven't had a lot to say lately, so I haven't been posting.
I don't want to get into a negative state of mind so I am just going along, doing the best that I can.
I have changed jobs, I really like the new gig and I think there is some growth potential there. But, I work for a college. We get laid off in the summer and I'm not sure what to do about that. Times have been tough here until recently but we are pretty much caught up with all of our bills and we are considering getting a pony. Mike and AJ have started taking riding lessons and it seems like it would be a really great thing to do. I'm not completely sure, but I know where I can get a really great pony, for pretty cheap and it's close by. Besides, we are living on 5 acres now and that is enough room to have at least one horse, maybe even a few that are the size of this one.
I am worried though, Johanna is planning on taking a CNA course and I am quite sure she can get through that with no problem. But it's the actual working that I am concerned with. I hope she will be able to get a job that can fill the gaps. I think this new job could really pay off for me in the future, but I don't know if we will be able to pull of the summer thing unless Johanna can land a pretty good job in the time that I am off.
I don't take time off, I am not used to just working 40 hours anymore either. I am so tempted to try and get back into a management job, but that will ruin my family life and Johanna will be extrememly frustrated because it's like you are married to the job and you have to always be there.
There is the chance I could get into school during my time off too. It would be great to learn something else that can make me money over the summer.
It all seems like a pipe dream to me right now. I was talking to a guy that is opening a place that I used to work (that I really loved) and I could maybe try and work something out with him, but I have a few people telling me what a bad idea it is to even consider working at this place.
I just wish something was simple in my life, nothing ever is.
Other than that I am doing great.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Employment issues, one more time

it has been a while again since I posted, sorry if I let anyone down but I doubt that I really have.
I have had a pretty interesting time since my last post. I have confirmed that the person who was sabotaging my job ( or trying to) is pretty confident that I can be easily replaced, and in a way I hope I can. Because even though I have been told that I have nothing to worry about as far as my job is concerned, I am leaving .
I have put in at least a dozen applications and emailed probably a hundred resumes, with no response. Then, a job that I didn't apply for came to me.
I was worried about taking it & had to think & pray for a couple of days. I also had two conversations with key people in this situation that made up my mind for me.
So I am changing jobs again and I am a little afraid of what could happen.
I still wish there was a way that I could relax and stay at the abbey. I love it there and most of the monks do like me and they think I do a good job. But the fact is they put out an add for my job. I only found it because I was looking for a second job & it was a pretty anonymous add. I looked up the address to find out if it was a company or what it was and it turned out that it was my new boss. They had put an add out for my job after talking with me and I felt the conversation went very well and I could possibly work with this person.
Now I feel like I just can't risk this situation with 3 small kids at home while I am the only steady income.
It is amazing the way this job just surfaced though. I was thinking of going to the university to apply, but I hadn't yet and I'm not sure I would have. Then they came and offered me a job, while I was at work. Yeah that was pretty cool.
So I gave my notice last Wednesday, and I will work my first shift at the university next Sunday. I am pretty excited about the new environment and I feel like it will be far less likely that I will be randomly fired because some one thinks I have disrespected them.

Honestly, this is feeling a lot like a test of my faith and I don't mind admitting that , I FREAKIN HATE IT!!!!!!!!
But, as a very wise woman told me tonight,"I don't believe that God brought us this far just to bring us to ruin".
So I am try9ing to remember that He has been there, when there was no hope; He was there. When I was far from home and alone in prison with not even a letter from home for comfort, He was there teaching me, molding me and making me go through things that would help me after they were over even though they really sucked when I was going through them.
You know that the most important thing I learned was?
He loves me. Even when I am afraid, even when I doubt, even when I have the wrong answers or the wrong responses, when I am completely self centered and being as un-Christlike as I can possibly be, He loves me still.