Monday, February 25, 2008


I'm not completely sure how I feel about this Kristen
tagged me for this meme and I haven't done this before , so I will probably screw it up(disclaimer aside let's begin!!)

Here are the rules:
(1) Link to the person that tagged you.
(2) Post the rules on your blog.
(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website

Seems simple enough Let's PARTY !!! WOO HOO!!!

Ok now for the six Non-Important things about me :

1. I am a high school dropout.
Yes it's true , here I am a real life statistic on my very own blog(isn't technology wonderful?).

2. I love to fish!! Yes I know , you can't believe it, seems surreal . Well ; almost

3. I am married to Kristen's sister !! OOps!! strike that that is IMPORTANT!! I knew I would mess this up. Sheesh.

3 #2. I am in close proximity to people who regularly use the word LOOPTID. Now that is what I call non-important.

4. it's 2:47 a.m. oh hold on that's not about me... ummm ( Quiet buzzing sound accompanied by burning smell) oh oh I know , I am baffled and at the same time infatuated by/with Linux .
I keep trying to break my old 450 mhz computer ( made by a company that no longer exists) by re-partitioning the disc and seeing what version of Linux I can actually run on it. So far Zenwalk is the winner, but I cannot for the life of me get my wireless adapter to work.

5. I love sushi!! I mean love like in a passionate , personal way. It has captivated me since I first tried some about 2 years ago. I know am the proud owner of a rice cooker and there are always at least a few sheets of nori seaweed in my kitchen cupboard. Sushi to me is like eating art. When it is done right , it is just as pleasing to look at as it is to eat it . Yes in my opinion Japanese people are strange( at least the ones I have met ) but I now look at a raw piece of salmon and start to salivate.

6. I play the guitar ... sort of ..
I really like to play worship music ( if & when I can find a song that I can learn in less than an hour) and when I was in prison I used to play during our chapel service sometimes.
I used to try to learn all of this lead crap , complicated riffs that hurt my fingers and my head, but I decided a while ago that it was a lot more fun to just be a hack. So a hack is what I am , but I do enjoy it and I make up songs on-the-fly for little boys with no pants on to run around the house to . Yep this is the life.

ok so now: I am supposed to tag some people not sure who yet but I will try it and see if they like block all future comments from me. I will tag a couple of Opera people
I am tagging 1.Cheryl because I am so jealous of her farm life and 2.Bev because I can I will also tag my new compadre via the internet 3.Wayno
Well that is all that I can come up with for now so I broke the rules a little * .

Hope you all have a great day and are increadibly blessed by my pointless post .

Wednesday, February 20, 2008


This is going to be short because I am up too late once again. It seems like weeks since I have slept an appropriate amount. So many thoughts and my own emotions keeping me up at night. Not to mention the internet. Not that I have been productive in any way on the net. I just read a bunch of blogs go through a bunch of crap on ebay & craigslist that I don't need and don't buy .
I haven't posted in quite a while and the last one was kind of negative . I apologize for that. My Sister-in-law made me realize today that I am being a jerk. Yes my life is kind of screwed up, my son wants me to kill him and I feel at least 100 years old, but I am alive and I have people who love me and we had a London broil for dinner( with my wife's recent vegetarian-esqe diet that is a feat) .
I am struggling with my everyday life, but I am not giving up. My son is probably going to a house , normally for run-aways but for kind of a relax and regroup session. Actually it is a definite, he will go tomorrow. I am sad that this is what it takes , but our family counselor said that this is good and a sign there are still things here to work with. I hope he's right, because I feel like I am going to snap on my kid and that is not a good feeling. Maybe this time will be good for us all.

Monday, February 04, 2008

a stinky poop place

Tonight seemed like a pretty long night. I was at work from about 12:30 today( I was supposed to go in @ 4 but I was asked to come in early when one cook whined and cried about being there or being sick or something and another one just outright called in). So ( especially after sleeping too late and missing church ) I had a real attitude when I got to work. Did I mention that my wife seem ALOT less than pleased when I left. Add to this that when I got there it wasn't all that busy.
But, we did end up doing a pretty good business for the day. I can't believe I missed church today. Although I think Johanna has all but given up on the idea of going to church with little kids anymore. I really wanted to go today and I missed it. No huge loss I guess, I am sure God will forgive me for a few missed church services. But I really like it there and they have sort of a Sunday school after the main service(which I can never attend because I always work on Sunday) and I was going to go to it this morning because I didn't have to go in till 4, Yeah right.
So I guess I am wondering, what is going on with me? I have stress, we all do.
I am tired a lot of the time, pretty normal for me. I am just in this funk, seems like no one can see the good in me right now. Maybe that is just my perception of how things are, but it makes for a crappy week if you ask me.
Basically, I feel disconnected. Disconnected from God, my family, other people around me, like I just accidentally cut the tether between myself and the mother ship, I am slowly drifting away and there isn't anything to grab or push off of to send me back in that general direction.
It's dark and cold and lonely, you would think by now I would be comfortable in this place.
I'm not. It's a stinky poop place.
The very odd thing about this is, the more isolated I feel , the more of a tendency to isolate myself. Isn't that strange? I really want to go fishing , alone but I am way too tired right now.