Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Post Modern?

I am beginning to realize as I look around me ,
that I am not the only person thinking about this new era of ideology concerning Christ and the church. Even though my thoughts have been going in this direction for some time, I had decided that just not really voicing my opinion was the best thing. As you will hear some post modern thinkers say," some people get it and some don't " was what I was thinking to my self. Especially as far as accepting people for who they are and on issues of judgment and my perception of someone else's situation. We are all different , we ALL have a unique experience in life. We all fall short.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Revolution? whatever

Tonight I am tired, not sure why but I have had sinus problems all day sine I woke up. But, I was off today and I am really happy about that !
The real subject here is about something I am not sure what to call.
I first heard of Brian McLaren on Kansas Bob's blog. Since then I have been watching videos, reading stuff {including scripture} and thinking.
I can't say that church has no place in my life. But for me it has become less relevant as far as what I actually do in my spiritual walk with God. I love going to church, I think fellowship is very important , even vital to the believer.
What I don't see is the fruit of all of this work that goes on in churches , I know many people sacrifice to work or give to the church they attend.
I guess the point of all this is to say , I'm not sure where I am as far as being fixed in a certain statement of faith according to a certain denomination. I have felt for a long time that no one religious sect has it all right. I think we are all fallible and that religion is very much a human effort to reach God.
I have been in this mode of questioning for a while, Not that I doubt the fundamental truths (yes I said truths) of Christianity. I absolutely believe that Jesus was fully God and fully man . I believe the apostle's creed.
I feel like I have actually grown away from a lot of religious activity. I mean is activity what God wants from us? And if it is , what kind? Where? What is the motivation? Are we supposed to give 10% of our gross income to a church then drive right past homeless people standing on street corners or ignore the neighbors we have had for 2 years? Should we spend all of our time doing "church work" and sacrifice the relationship with our own families? Should I Force Christianity down my 15 or 20 year olds throat and expect them to just blindly accept what I say even though for years I acted worse that they do?
What does all of this mean ? Why are we here? How can I best be a representative of Christ to those who need Him most in my day to day?
Honestly , I'm not always sure. But one thing that church has taught me about that is what not to do. As a child my family attended a very popular unnamed denomination.
This was the place where I first learned about Jesus and first had that desire to know Him. Also it was the place where I was first alienated by "Church Folks" because I didn't fit in their mold of what a young Christian should be ( funny they didn't either ). I decided back then (when I was 16 ) that I didn't want to be a part of this group ( see unnamed ) .
Is that what God wants from me? To drive people from my presence ( and His ) with a set of rules or beliefs that don't allow them selves to be questioned?
Jesus may have spoken in riddles to some people, but he didn't refuse to be questioned . Why should I be above that ? What is wrong with saying that I don't know , I don't have it all together , I may be wrong?
So , I suppose I am asking for input and wondering what others are thinking or if , you know , I might be coming to some unrealistic conclusions .

Oh yeah I also finished the David Crowder book ,
I really enjoyed it and laughed a lot . I highly recommend it to any one .

Monday, October 15, 2007

quiet time

It is very quiet here right now , I am pretty sure everyone else is asleep.
It can be really nice at times, all this quiet, but I feel some loss for the day that has gone by and I can't get it back . I wish I had more time with my family or maybe if I had gone to the park this morning I wouldn't feel like this. I usually have a blast with all of them and I want to be anywhere that Johanna is, I don't feel complete without her. I can be alone and do things alone( sometimes that's great ) but I really love being with or even just sharing space with all of them .

Thursday, October 11, 2007

My other blog

I am not a huge reader. I really only read a couple of books a year and they have to interest me greatly for me to finish them.
Well I recently read a book that was written by one of my favorite musicians David Crowder . That book is called "Praise Habit , finding God in sunsets & sushi ". It was really good and I got some good insight from it. It focuses on making praise a habit rather than something we do at church . The theme is pretty much that God is ever present in the mundane every day things we do and His desire is that we praise Him in those things realizing that God is the center of everything, everything we are everything we see everything we do. Anyway I really like David Crowder and I think he is very genuine (especially for such a public figure) in a world where even the religious leaders or others we would refer to as "Spiritual" seem to be selling something just like the rest of the free market we call society.
So I go to work , where I am a manager of the restaurant variety, and start telling the only other openly christian person I know there about this book and how funny it is & the unique perspective that he puts on things . She tells me that her son has been reading a book by the same guy! (Whoda thunk it?!) Then she asks me if I would consider a swap ( of the temporary variety ) and I was like ,"yeah of course".
So now I am reading ( and almost done with ) "EveryBody Wants To Go To Heaven, but Nobody Wants To Die,or (The eschatology of bluegrass) " .
This Book is really amazing , I find myself laughing out loud then a few minutes later almost in tears. It's a strange layout for a literary work , but it works so far And I am almost done with it. I told my wife tonight that I will be sad when it's done. But maybe that is part of the reason for the book in the first place.
I am thinking more about the permanence of death and maybe how it might not be , but who really knows?
I mean I don't know any one that has died that I can ask about it. It seems to me that, while we are living we keep ourselves kind of separated from it and don't admit it is there. Until ,we are faced with someone else's or our own mortality, then we can't deny it any longer.
we say," tomorrow" but what if tomorrow never comes?

Saturday, October 06, 2007


It's about 9:30 a.m. here , I woke up not feeling very good , but it's normal.
I did spend some time reading devotions and the Bible and I am feeling better than I was.I was reading John 14 , Jesus promises that he won't leave us as orphans.
I was looking at the way verse 8 was translated in other versions and here is what I found :comfortless, orphans, alone, fatherless, desolate & bereaved.
I thought this was an interesting set of words and was thinking about the times when I have felt most alone. There have been plenty, sometimes it was just my perception, others I was truly alone. The thing that I remember most is how much worse it was to just perceive that I was alone and fatherless. the thoughts in my head seem to always be the biggest obstacles in my life.
Far worse are my imagined dangers that ever present fear that can grip me seemingly out of nowhere.
The biggest change in my life is that the fear takes hold much less often than it used to , and now when I do feel that icy grip , I have this assurance that I am not alone I know who I need to talk to, I know where my help comes from . Even though I see that for the most part nothing changes. Most of the people I pray for never change or things do not get any better for (them that I can see), but this peace inside (seems crazy to describe it) but it's there for no explainable logical reason. Still I am comforted beyond reason.
Maybe I am crazy , there is a distinct possibility that I am chemically imbalanced. Or, perhaps; Jesus meant what he said and even though I don't deserve it , he gives it to me anyway. Could happen.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


the reason I am getting on here in the middle of the night is , my dog won't sleep . I don't know why he is so lively in the dead of night , but man I wish he would just go lay down somewhere. He keeps doing this random patroly thing (while atop my bed ) Now he is out here lying in front of the couch since I'm not in the bed any more. Oh well I guess I will give him a few minutes before I try to do it again.
The thing that makes it hard is , I was already sound asleep and he woke me with this marching doggy cadence around the bed .So, now I'm up. Not happy but up.
It has been a while since I posted anything, not too many people ever read it any way. So I guess it doesn't really matter , I just started this blog for my own personal use any way.I don't have a lot of time to write these days , I work a lot for little pay . But you know there are lots of people who are doing a lot worse . There are people in the world who don't have the essentials of life who are hungry right now and worried about just surviving .
I am extremely blessed ,I have all of these kids who are pretty healthy , a good job , a wife who loves me , a roof over the heads of my family. There is a lot of love here. There are also moments when it looks as if it will all come apart, but I think it is that way for most families.
I had the day off today ( technically it was yesterday ) and it was an uneventful day . I had to take my now 15 year old to his doctor appointment and later I had a personal appointment I had to go to. after that we went & got some hamburger buns so I could make health food for dinner. Burgers and fries may not be that good for you , but at least they all eat when we make them. Other times the smaller kids just move food from one area of the plate to another.Oh and not to mention the comments. Mostly I can let the comments sail on by , but "BLECK!!" is a common one , I heard that one from the 3 year old this very evening. Another one is ,"I HATE THAT!!" without ever even putting a morsel near any taste or olfactory apparatus . I hate developed a fairly thick skin when it comes to comments on my cooking . My lovely wife is also very complementary most of the time , counteracting the abuse of the small ones :)
Well tomorrow is another day, I should go try it again the dog seems to have relaxed for now.