Saturday, December 20, 2008

Crap

Maybe it's just Christmas blues, but I feel like crap.
I am trying not to let it get to me, so far I'm not doing so well.
This is going to be a pretty good Christmas I hope . I have plenty of family to spend it with and I am really happy about that.
But this is probably the all time poorest I have ever been (financially speaking) at Christmas ever.
I know I am missing the point of Christmas, I know. What I mean is, I'm not missing the point as much as it is blurred by my feelings of inadequacy.
I am sure my family will love me even though I can't give them much for Christmas, I also can't really afford to help anyone else out, and that makes me feel bad.
I know this is just a passing phase, I have been here before and I made it out. I'm pretty confident I will make it out again.
No matter how broke I am, at least I am not in prison for Christmas. Not much has been worse than that for me.
Anyway, I hope it is a really great Holiday for all of us and we all feel loved and needed.
Peace

2 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

I relate more than you know.. your post title pretty much captures my mood.

Merry Christmas anyway Shawn!

Kristen said...

Ugh, this is the general feeling at our house, too. Although we're trying to stay positive for R. A and I seem to be taking turns being depressed.

It's hard when you can't give what you want to at Christmas, but I have to tell you about one of my favorite Christmases ever: It was just my dad and me. We got our tree for $5 on Christmas Eve from Home Depot and decorated it that night. We went to church in the morning and made dinner together afterwards. And, we pretty much forgot to do the presents part. It was wonderful!

I know with little ones around, it's different. But I think the happiness of you all being together in your new place will be the best gift of all.