Saturday, September 27, 2008

Crappy Parenting

Yes,
I am referring to myself. I haven't been writing at all because when I last wrote something for this blog, I was in really good spirits. I can't say that I am now, although I am not really depressed or anything.
I have been a pretty bad example in the past for my kids and I exposed my older boys to lots of thing they should never have been exposed to. I know the past is gone, but it haunt's me.
My fifteen year old son just went to juvenile detention about 2 weeks ago.
I am reminded of my weakness and mistakes when ever something like this happens.
I am really worried about this kid. I try not to worry about anything. But this one has me worried.
His older brother has many issues including a pretty bad drug problem.I am afraid this kid will give in to the hopeless outlook his brother has and completely ruin his life.
Not to mention the other kids and the effect he will have on them.
So, right now I have 2 sons in jail. Not a shining testimony for how wonderful of a parent I am. I also didn't get a birthday card in the mail fast enough because I haven't mailed one yet and the 15 year old's B day is the 29th. I think I dropped the ball on this one.
I did visit him once and he seems ok. But I'm not and I am afraid this isn't serious enough for him to make an actual change. He sounded good and said he will do better when he gets out, But I am skeptical. I have heard my oldest give me a complete line of crap and do what ever the hell he wanted with no concern for anyone else around him. This is what worries me, that my younger boy will follow in his brother's footsteps.
God Help Me, and them,
Peace

3 comments:

Kansas Bob said...

When my son was in jail in his teen years I had similar feelings Shaun. Then one day the Spirit asked me this question..

"If your son was making A's and doing good things would you take credit for his success?"

..I said no.

He countered and told me that I shouldn't take the blame for "his" failures.

It is hard to let our kids go Shaun. My life changed when I let mine go and began to honor their choices as their own and not really any of my business. It changed our relationship over time. Not that it was easy.. and not that I am happy with their choices :)

sandwhichisthere said...

Each day you do the best that you can. That is all that you can do. As long as your children know that like the hired hand "Home is where you go where they have to take you in." you have done your best. A man's best is not always good enough, believe me I am a perfect example of this, but it is the best that he can do. I have found that it is a waste of time criticizing yourself. There are more than enough people in this world that are happy to assume this task for you.

M.K.TRADERS said...

Yes,
I am referring to myself. I haven't been writing at all because when I last wrote something for this blog, I was in really good spirits. I can't say that I am now, although I am not really depressed or anything.
I have been a pretty bad example in the past for my kids and I exposed my older boys to lots of thing they should never have been exposed to. I know the past is gone, but it haunt's me.
My fifteen year old son just went to juvenile detention about 2 weeks ago.
I am reminded of my weakness and mistakes when ever something like this happens.
I am really worried about this kid. I try not to worry about anything. But this one has me worried.
His older brother has many issues including a pretty bad drug problem.I am afraid this kid will give in to the hopeless outlook his brother has and completely ruin his life.
Not to mention the other kids and the effect he will have on them.
So, right now I have 2 sons in jail. Not a shining testimony for how wonderful of a parent I am. I also didn't get a birthday card in the mail fast enough because I haven't mailed one yet and the 15 year old's B day is the 29th. I think I dropped the ball on this one.
I did visit him once and he seems ok. But I'm not and I am afraid this isn't serious enough for him to make an actual change. He sounded good and said he will do better when he gets out, But I am skeptical. I have heard my oldest give me a complete line of crap and do what ever the hell he wanted with no concern for anyone else around him. This is what worries me, that my younger boy will follow in his brother's footsteps.
God Help Me, and them,
Peace