Saturday, November 07, 2009


I thought I was slow the last time between posts, I guess I beat that one this time.
My life is going ok I guess, I could complain but I'm not sure it would do any good.
The kids are all doing ok in school, Calvin is reading and sounding out almost everything he sees, hears or says.
It's really cool to watch kids grow up, even though I have a certain amount of anxiety about that.
That's mostly due to some bad choices by my oldest 2 kids. My 17 year old is in jail, again; I can't believe it.
But I love him and he didn't hurt anyone. So I hope he just doesn't end up going to prison or something. I can't believe how stupid people can be ( especially when they are my kids).
So once again, things could be better, but they are what they are and I will live and hopefully we will all learn to be productive members of society. Hmm, maybe I would settle for well adjusted and content.
I think that the 3 younger boys are pretty well adjusted, hard to say really what they will choose though. We try to do our best for our kids, I think sometimes that really pays off and sometimes they will go on to wreck every life that touches theirs with complete disregard for every one around them.
I was pretty selfish & stupid when I was young and I understand that it's harder than ever for kids to make the right choices. Things that were little mistakes for me can be huge setbacks for my kids, life changing even.
I wish I could change so much of my life, I have a load of regrets for the life that I have lived
I have caused a lot of pain for people who loved me, some of them still do (shocking I know) and my life is nothing like what I though t it should end up like.
But, there is still joy; there is still passion. There are still moments that I wouldn't trade for any thing, so I guess it was worth it, sort of.


Kansas Bob said...

Great seeing you posting Sean and glad to hear that things are okay.

I agree with you about how we parents try to do our best for our kids.. I know I did but because I was so broken some of the things I did got the opposite results that I wanted.

Hang in there brother.

Blessings, Bob

sandwhichisthere said...

what a seventeen year old does has nothing to do with you. He is a man now and must face the consequences of his actions.
Your children feel loved, are well fed, and have a home to live in. Your wife feels loved, is well fed, and has a home to live in. These are the consequences of your actions. You are The Man!

Anonymous said...

what a remarkable thing... you know people dont realize the gift of self realization. I was the bad mom 20 yrs ago. IM 44 now lol a christian and a pastor but i am not holier than thou. i contribute my "life"experiances to helping people on the street. I have no fear of dealers cultures etc.. we can only go forward and stop saying i am sorry. you repented thats it. amen.

Anonymous said...

oh im looking for prayer partners whom have been through hell and back. we remain anonymous so god gets the glory and we are healed by praying for others. we tell it how it is sometimes gentle sometimes harsh. thats why the awful name thrashedntrashed because many of us feel this way when life happens. peace

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Roslyn Julia said...

I just randomly found your blog, and it's pretty interesting that you are a father and everything and you blog about your feelings. It's also weird seeing you say you didn't think your life turned out how you thought it would… I feel like everyone says that. People make choices and that leads to result… same with your son. I don't know why he is in jail, but he made that choice, there is nothing you can do about it. I hope that everything is well, and you stay positive. Good luck raising kids! :p … I'm 20 and right now I say I'm never going to have kids…. It's probably not true, but hey.. who knows, right?

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