Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New Year

Man am I tired .
Last night we stayed up way too late ( watching Mystery Science Theater) and I had to work all day ,I did get to sleep in a bit though , so that was cool.
I am really hopeful for this year, I am trying not to put any huge expectations on any of us for this year but I am extremely hopeful.
I think it's going to be good, we have pulled all 4 of our (still living at home) kids out of public school. Johanna And I both agree that the way things are going here in public school is not what we want for our kids. So far so good , we haven't really done that much in the way of school yet , but they were going on vacation any way so we let them have a break. In the next few weeks we will see what unfolds in our home.
I also made a resolution to make no resolutions, usually they are just a set up for failure and why put yourself through that? I really don't see the point. I think that if I want to something about me or the way I do something the answer is not to wait for a new year, but to take that moment and decide to change it right then.
I am also very hopeful about my oldest son , who is in jail right now. I hope that God will apprehend him similar to how the police did. I know God has been working on him because prayers have been going up for some time for Tim. I just want him to be able to live a good life and to be able to look back and say it wasn't just a waste. I know inside he wants a good life , he has just been buying into the lies of the enemy and has royally screwed up his life, but I believe that it can change.
There are a lot of things that I would like to change in my life , not all are easy to do for instance I would like to work less. But, this seems extremely far fetched right now. I would have to change jobs( a very scary prospect for me) and I don't really have any great marketable skills. Sure I have a lot of good general knowledge and i can cook pretty good. But cooking is not the best occupation when you have 4 kids at home. I am a manager not because I love to manage or I like to tell people what to do, but because I can count on that paycheck to be at least so much every time. it's a trade off I guess. Of course if I could find a job with 401k, insurance and make like $15 per hour I would probably take it , especially if I could work days.
When I was younger I used to work for a pretty good company and work like 35-40 hrs per week. I really didn't know how good I had it. I had so much more free time, people often times don't realize how valuable that free time is. I used to take my canoe to work with me in the morning and if I got off early I would go fishing or just paddling around the mangroves for a couple of hours. Yep that part was pretty cool.
Any way I am looking at this year with optimism and trying to think about what I would like to see happen in this upcoming year. I know that my spiritual journey (and ours) is taking some new turns. The way I think about Church has been evolving for some time and my wife agrees with me for the most part. We didn't go to a church for a while just because of the difficulty we had getting there for an 8:30 a.m. service , plus the pastor that made us feel so welcome as a couple left and they still have no pastor.
I feel kind of like we gave up on them, but not really it was mostly just really hard for me to get there when I am usually working on Sat. night and @ noon on Sundays.
So, we found a church and we both think God has led us there. It has been a process and if a year ago some one had told me they were thinking the way I have been thinking , I would question their salvation, so much can change in a year.
So I guess that's where I am at. Big changes for our family , for our church, hopefully they will be good. Either way, we will press on and try to live the best way we know how.


WaynO said...

Oh, how familiar that sounds. I went through some really tough mental stuff and short jobs and no jobs. Had a rebellious teenager who went into the military and learned new ways to party. Then left home and we didn't even know where he was most of the time.
Have a daughter who moved out and left us without a word of warning, moved in with a boy who is mostly worthless, won't work and is unrelentingly possessive.
Have dealt with fear, anxiety, anger and a bunch of other stuff and that was just my wife. (kidding it was me)
I keep serving the Lord and in time things change it is good again but always seem to sink to the low.
My walk to God isn't real pretty either. Lots of anger issues in my rebellion.
Will be praying for you and Tim. Pastor WaynO

Kristen said...

I'm praying for good things and good changes for you, your family, and all of us for 2008.