Saturday, April 26, 2008

It's late & I'm lonely

My name is Shaun.
I'm 39 I have grey & redish brown hair, I am 5'9" tall with a stocky build. I could use to lose a few pounds.
I also ( contrary to popular belief ) am not depressed..
I have my moments, my life is really hard and I tend to just let what ever is on my mind flow right out onto the page. But, I am not suicidal or even thinking about hurting myself or anyone else( except for my 15 year old son who frustrates me pretty much on a daily basis, But I do love him so).

So, if you were worried about me, I apologize, really.

I am not sure my life will ever be easy.I am not sure I would appreciate the good times if there weren't so many bad times.

There are people in my life that think my venting on this blog is a dangerous red flag for what is really going on under the surface. Good news!!! Nothing ( and I mean absolutely nothing) is going on here. Yeah I get sick of dealing with people's crap. Yes I get aggravated and impatient with people. Yes I get my feelings hurt and I am very disappointed.
But I am not without hope.
This should actually be really good news for you ( whom ever you may be) because, if I have hope, How much better off so many people in the world are.. Of course, I know there are so many that are so much worse off than me.
I guess that is one reason I am so hopeful. I believe that God is doing something that I can't fully understand in my life & the lives of many many people around me.
Maybe that is just a part of the mystery.. I think so , what do you think?


Kansas Bob said...

Amen to the mystery Shaun! I particularly liked this post because of your honesty, vulnerability and transparency.. other words for venting :)

I think that your blog is a fairly healthy place.. your writing is heartfelt and real - you deal openly with your frustrations and can be misunderstood by those of us who think it our job to fix people.. I say "us" because I can get that way sometimes.. forgive me if any of my comments have come across that way.. I am not qualified to be a spiritual handyman.

Happy Sunday!

shaun said...

believe me Bob, the post was not directed at you at all.. Thanks for your comments & support..

Barbara(aka Layla) said...

Shaun, I understand everything you said....all too well.

WaynO said...

Hope I didn't come off as thinkin you suicidal. Mostly I just agree with the struggle we all have in life. I enjoy your perspective and honesty.
I do much that you do only mine is directed at a couple of churches. Great to have a place to rant.
You mentioned in a blog sometime back that you like to fish. What do you fish for (how heres your sign) I suppose you fish for fish but what kind?
Better get off here as I been on quite a while.
Grace and Peace
Still pray for you.

Ericka said...

Blogs are free therapy, and you don't have to repeat the same stuff over & over to each friend individually. I'm sorry that I'm never actually at the computer when you im me, one of the only disadvantages of cable internet. I hope that your son will see someday what a good man you are, that you were trying to do what's right by him, and that he will feel like a total weinie for, well... being 15. Which I know will come true, because we all come to realize that we were jerks at that age (i know i was!), and that our parents were not, in fact, the horrible people we thought that they were.

hmmm. i hope that doesn't piss anybody off. feel free to delete it if you think that might be true.