Monday, June 09, 2008


Just to update the people who have read this blog recently, my son has come back.
I think I will hold off the celebration because we still have some distance to go.
I just hope that he will see that I am for him and not against him.
When you are 15 no one understands you, I remember that. But the main reason no one understands is because we don't make any freakin sense.
I hope this will all turn out ok & I will get my whole family back. I don't count on it, I don't think I could take the let down if I let my self believe that God will repair my family & then it doesn't happen. I already did that once and nearly lost my mind( I did lose my freedom and my right to vote and my right to bare arms{not that I did any way} And that wasn't pretty or fun) I also lost years of my oldest boys lives and I think that had a major part in creating the monsters that rage inside each of my older son's hearts.
Granted, their mother did not help the situation. But I still bare some of that responsibility.
I am tempted ( but I refuse ) to trash their mom right here. She is still actively not helping.
I think God that in the end , we are all accountable for our own actions or lack there of. He will judge each of our hearts( and does I believe) we will all answer for our own lives.
You know it sure would be great though if some bolt of lightning came down hit us all and we just "got it" that instant. If we could all just love each other the way we should.
I guess it's not just the problem with my family, but with the whole world.

oh , oh ..
Check out the hyacinth that is blooming in the little pond that Johanna built.. it's real pretty.

1 comment:

sandwhichisthere said...

Shaun, congratulations on the return of your son. I don't know what you went through but it must have been horrible. My Father knew but his sons were at a much younger age when they did it.
Congratulations also on not saying bad things about the children's Mother. If bad things are said, they will not remember what was said but they will remember who said it.
Fifteen is a difficult time. He is just a boy and he is just trying to find his way. It is good that he came home. I think it was Robert Frost that wrote "Home is where you go where they have to take you in.". As long as he knows this, he has some reassurance that the world doesn't have to be such a scary place. No matter how badly he messes up, there is a refuge. He is older than a boy and younger than a man. He must be confused,we were,