Saturday, May 12, 2007
ANOTHER DAY I GO TO WORK
I know that everyone has to work sometimes .I just feel really lazy today .
I'm not sure why , other than I stay up too late & have for years . My life is kind of disappointing to me at times & then there are times when it is really good . Today I feel like I should be in a better place in life . But you know I have earned worse , so things aren't that bad .
I did get up & pray a little today , different for me lately . I used to pray almost constantly,not so much now . I also was reading Psalm 32 . I am reminded that my lack of prayer is one of my biggest problems with my current situation. Because I am not praying , I am not confessing , so I am growing old inside. That's not good .
I know from past experience that God is not going to force me to be happy , He will not shove himself down my throat . I have to come back to Him . I know He loves me I know He cares about the tiny details of my life & I ignore Him. I am not very much better than I ever was . Sure there are changes in me , there are a lot of things I used to do that I would never consider now , but there are many more things that need to change. Thoughts , the things I hide in my heart , the way I act when no one is looking . I need to remember that God is looking . I need to be more thankful .
Thank God He is soooo patient with me .