Thursday, May 31, 2007
Today was another long day , not exciting ,ordinary, boring.It was a pretty average day for me . I did get some not good news , about my oldest son.
I talked to him early today & he said that they were thinking about doing open heart surgey on him. I am so affraid that he is going to die & will never get his life straightened out at all. I am afraid he will die young , alienated from the rest of the world , sad & lonely . I was not a good kid. Neither has my oldest been, when he was a young boy he was , but he has been in a lot of trouble & caused a lot of problems & heart aches for my entire family. Now what if he dies? what then?
Is this really how the story will end? Tim has caused a lot of problems , but I Love him . He is my son, if he was getting the electric chair I would still claim him . I messed up a lot as a father , but why is it so bad that he can't deal with real life?
I hope that any one who reads this will pray for him for healing , for strength , for life . I know he is legally a man . But in my heart I still see a little boy who crashes his bike & then cries ,"DADDY!!!" I loved that sound .